I'm cool
- Tha_Burner
- ~TurboTroll~
- Posts: 499
- Joined: 30 Aug 2002 22:21
"THE PILLS"
One day this lady went to the doctor, because she was having
problems getting her husband aroused in bed. The Doctor gave her
these pills with strict instructions.
"Give one pill for every hour of sex you want to have in his
dinner, and make sure to contact me with the results the
next day." he said.
That night as she made dinner she placed one pill in his food.
The next day she called her doctor and said, "Oh doctot that
was the best hour of sex we ever had. I'm going to put two in
his dinner tonight!"
The doctor consented and told her to contact him every day till
the end of the month.
She proceeded to give her husband the pills o couple here and there.
One night she was curious to find out how good and for long the sex
would last if she gave him the whole bottle, so she did.
A few days later the doctor had not heard from the lady so he paid
her a visit. He knocked on the door and a little boy answered.
"Is your mother home?" asked the doctor.
The little boy responded, "My mother's dead, my ass is sore, my
sister's pregnant, and my dad's outside saying 'Here kitty, kitty'."
SEX??
One day at work a doctor is caught having sex with one of his
patients, and everybody at work was talking about it.
By the end of the day the doctor was confronted by the administrator,
he said, "I hear your having sex with your patients?"
The doctor responded, "I'm a doctor, all doctors have sex
with their patients!"
"But you're a veterinarian!!"
patients, and everybody at work was talking about it.
By the end of the day the doctor was confronted by the administrator,
he said, "I hear your having sex with your patients?"
The doctor responded, "I'm a doctor, all doctors have sex
with their patients!"
"But you're a veterinarian!!"
Wedden dat??
A man walks into a bar and sees a huge jar filled with ten dollar
bills. He asks the bartender what they are for. The bartender tells
him that if he puts ten dollars in and wins the contest they are
having, he will get the whole jarfull of money.
The man puts his money in and asks what the contest is. The bartender
tells him "You have to do three things. First, you have to drink this
whole fifth of jalepeno whiskey straight down. Second, you see that
huge, mean old dog out back? He has a toothache and you have to pull
his bad tooth. And last, there is an 85 year old prostitute upstairs
that says she has never been satisfied in her life.
You need to satisfy her."
The man says he will think about it and walks away.
He comes back later, drunk, and tells the bartender to give him the
bottle of jalepeno whiskey. The bartender hands him the bottle and
he gulps it all down. He heads out back to the dog and next thing
everybody hears is the dog howling and howling. After a while,
the man comes staggering back in the door and says
"OK, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"
bills. He asks the bartender what they are for. The bartender tells
him that if he puts ten dollars in and wins the contest they are
having, he will get the whole jarfull of money.
The man puts his money in and asks what the contest is. The bartender
tells him "You have to do three things. First, you have to drink this
whole fifth of jalepeno whiskey straight down. Second, you see that
huge, mean old dog out back? He has a toothache and you have to pull
his bad tooth. And last, there is an 85 year old prostitute upstairs
that says she has never been satisfied in her life.
You need to satisfy her."
The man says he will think about it and walks away.
He comes back later, drunk, and tells the bartender to give him the
bottle of jalepeno whiskey. The bartender hands him the bottle and
he gulps it all down. He heads out back to the dog and next thing
everybody hears is the dog howling and howling. After a while,
the man comes staggering back in the door and says
"OK, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"
the Snowstorm
Norman and his blonde wife live in Prince George. One winter morning
while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are
going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on
the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says,
"We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car
on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer
says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must
park...?? then the electric power goes out.
Norman's wife says, "Honey, I don't know what to do."
Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
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