I'm cool
My Dear Boat
There were two twins, Joe and John. Joe was the owner of a old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old woman saw Joe, and mistaking him for John. Said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible"
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time for the weekend. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in her at the same time and split her right down the middle."
The old woman fainted.
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Fact is, I'm sort of glad to get rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. Every time I used her the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time for the weekend. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow and were willing to pay. The fools all tried to get in her at the same time and split her right down the middle."
The old woman fainted.
A Day In The Sun
Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.
"Do you live around here?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, continuing to read.
Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket on to hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away last year," he replied.
"Do you live around here?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, continuing to read.
Goldie persisted. "Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, he threw his book down, jumped off his blanket on to hers, tore off both their swimsuits, and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Goldie gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
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